I Need Thee

Three nights ago some men broke into the school and stole my computer and three of my friends computers. Let me give you the run down:
I left my laptop in the computer room thinking it would be completley safe. My friend was in the computer room until 2am. When she was finished she walked up the stairs and unlocked the front door, walked outside and saw two men running around the hedge at the front of the school. This means they were able to get into the computer room and steal four computers in about 2 minutes, they also would have hid from us while doing lock up and the would have been watching my friend and waiting for her to leave the room. Creepy. So my laptop is gone, but strangly enough I am not upset about this. Yes, all my pictures, lecture notes, music and videos from the last twelve months in Europe were on it but I don´t need those things to feel satisfied. My satisfaction comes from Christ alone.
Today was my day off and I spent it on the beach. I was admiring the Alps that he created and listening to the water and thinking about Genesis where it says, ´his presence was hovering over the waters.´ I opened up my bible and turned to Isaiah 64. This is what I read:
´Oh that you would rend from the heavens and come down, and all the mountains would quake...No eye has seen a God besides you....We all fade like a leaf, and all our iniquites, like the wind, take us away.´
Man. I really don´t need anything or anyone besides him. My life is but a breath, it is quickly fading. My satisfaction comes from Christ alone.

Life is But a Breath; Don't Waste It

Last night one of my best friends and I went swimming. We ended up swimming out to a dock that was fairly far out on the lake. We sat out there until after midnight. The air was still warm and we could here laughter coming from the beach. At one point I lied down and looked up at the stars and I just felt so much joy and peace.

I am so thankful for the place I am at.

I wanted that moment to last forever but the second’s just kept ticking on. Life is flying by and sometimes it scares me.

Lake Constance, Germany

Thank you Jesus.

Today has been wonderful. I woke up at 6:30 and read my bible. Lately my relationship with Christ has been a challenge. I am a very emotional person and so when I don't feel God's presence in my life it is easy for me to feel as though he is non-existent. I haven't felt God in a long time, but he is teaching me so much through that. I know that my relationship with him has nothing to do with emotions; he is here with me right now as I write this even though I may not feel him.

He loves me.

He cares for my heart.

He makes all things glorious.

He is the good shepherd.

He is beautiful.

He is the author of my life.

He is forgiving.

He is gentle.

He is patient.

He is alive.

After kids program this morning I went for a run and then I went swimming in Lake Constance. As I was swimming I closed my eyes and felt the sun beating on my face. The delicate sound of the water surrounded me and as I opened my eyes I saw a swan swimming gracefully past me. The water looked like glass and the Alps were crystal clear in the distance. In that moment all I could say was, 'thank you Jesus'. He is ALWAYS faithful and he is ALWAYS good. The King of the universe is holding my heart. THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE!! Do you have any idea how amazing that is? It’s a big deal. Also, he wants all of me. He wants my life and my dreams and my desires. I don't want to be lukewarm; I want to live a life that is fully dedicated to him. I am not at that point yet. I am weak and foolish, I live so dependent on the flesh, I am sinful and disobedient, I am bitter and jealous, I am slow to listen and quick to speak, I am judgmental, I am selfish, I am prideful, yet he still loves me. The almighty, righteous, holy King loves me. ME! He sees me as righteous, he sees me as his daughter. All I can say is thank you Jesus.

Something New....

Today I told myself I would do something new...So I am going to start a blog... I always told myself I would never start a blog because my grammar is TERRIBLE...But I am going to do it anyways. If you can get past bad grammar then you can read about my life.

I am currently situated in German land. I have been living here for approximately eleven months and I have 4 more weeks to go. 4 more weeks. Wow. I don't think I can express in words how amazing this year has been. I have met people that I will be friends with forever. I left for Germany on September 22, 2010 and originally I was only suppose to be here until April but God had something different planned for me. In January I was pulled aside and I was asked if I would like to stay at Bodenseehof and do an internship until September with 5 other people and they gave me 3 weeks to decide. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone but my best friends, Sarah and Jenny, asked me why Steve and Andy pulled me into their office...So I told them. I didn't want to stay but God’s plan was different then my plan so after many prayers, tears, arguments with God and long conversations with my family I told them I would stay.

My bible school experience was amazing. I had six months of wonderful fellowship. For the second semester I had 9 roommates and that was a blast. My first semester roommates were crazy, I laughed so hard in that room. I just remember Margarita and Malia making me laugh until I cried. The two girls I mentioned earlier, Sarah and Jenny, were incredible blessings in my life. We were best friends from day one. Words cannot describe how amazing those two girls are. After Christmas break we hadn't seen other in 3 weeks and we went to the cafe for four hours just talking and laughing and catching up. 3 weeks felt like forever...Now I haven't seen them in over 4 months and I miss them so much. I miss everyone so much. I miss my crazy redhead friend Carly, I miss my twin Alyssa, I miss Becky my bunky, I miss all 108 students. BUT, I am also satisfied with the place I am at now because I know I am in God's will and his grace is enough for me. When all the students left on April 2nd I remember feeling so empty and depressed but as time went on I began to heal and I have grown so close with the 5 other people that were asked to stay. Christa and Nelli have taught me so much. Philip, Steffen and Kyle are like brothers to me. I look back on all the memories I have with them, like the canoe trip we went on last week. I don't think I have laughed that hard in my whole life. Or how the 6 of us can be so honest around each other. I am going to miss our bible studies, I am going to miss seeing those 5 people every single day. They know me so well; they know my testimony inside and out. Throughout the past 11 months God has blessed me with amazing friendships. Above all of this I have been able discover more and more about God's character. I have grown so much in him and as each day goes on I recognize my weakness but through that I recognize his strength. When I am weak he is made strong. I have discovered what it really means to rest in him and I have discovered that everything I do should be for his glory.

I could write pages and pages of experiences. I could write about the way God has stretched me and moulded me into a women that is striving to be like him (although I fail miserably) or I could write about my travel experiences in Holland, France, Switzerland and other countries, I could write about the concerts we have to put on every week, I could write about the way God has provided me with just enough strength to do his will, I could write for ages...Maybe one day when I get home I will dedicate a blog post to my favourite memories in Europe...Yes. I think I will do that.

So 4 more weeks...I want to take advantage of every moment I have left here. I want to savour the beauty that surrounds me, the apple orchids, the view of the Swiss and Austrian Alps, the lake, the forest, the beautiful country roads, the sunsets and sunrises that dance over the mountains. I want to stand in awe of God's creation. He is so good and I couldn't thank him enough for his grace and his faithfulness.